Read article: Do Real Men Cry?

Helping Men Grieve: Tips

  • Emphasize problem solving. Begin with their strengths and what is working for them. Focus on what needs to be done.

  • Find rituals that matter.

  • Engage in supportive social activities. These can be fun outings without necessarily being focused on grief.

  • Encourage creation of a “memorial.” This can be any activity undertaken to honor a loved one.

  • Acknowledge anger when present and suggest a healthy expression of it which is not destructive to them or others.

  • Honor the space a grieving man may need. Do not force him to talk “for his own good,” or attempt to fit him into a preconceived idea of how grief should be expressed.

Selected Bibliography:

  • Tom Golden, Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Grieving.

  • Elizabeth Levang, When Men Grieve: Why Men Grieve Differently & How You Can Help.

  • Gerald Schaefer, The Widower’s Toolbox: Repairing Your Life After Losing a Spouse.

  • Jason Troyer, Counseling Widows.

  • Kenneth Doka and Terry Martin, Grieving Beyond Gender: Understanding the Ways Men and Women Mourn.

  • Terry Martin and Kenneth Doka, Men Don’t Cry . . . Women Do: Transcending Stereotypes of Grief.

Outside Resources for Men: