Tools & Resources

Read article: Do Real Men Cry?

Helping Men Grieve: Tips

Emphasize problem solving. Begin with their strengths and what is working for them. Focus on what needs to be done.

Find rituals that matter.

Engage in supportive social activities. These can be fun outings without necessarily being focused on grief.

Encourage creation of a “memorial.” This can be any activity undertaken to honor a loved one.

Acknowledge anger when present and suggest a healthy expression of it which is not destructive to them or others.

Honor the space a grieving man may need. Do not force him to talk “for his own good,” or attempt to fit him into a preconceived idea of how grief should be expressed.

Selected Bibliography:

Tom Golden, Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Grieving.

Elizabeth Levang, When Men Grieve: Why Men Grieve Differently & How You Can Help.

Gerald Schaefer, The Widower’s Toolbox: Repairing Your Life After Losing a Spouse.

Jason Troyer, Counseling Widows.

Kenneth Doka and Terry Martin, Grieving Beyond Gender: Understanding the Ways Men and Women Mourn.

Terry Martin and Kenneth Doka, Men Don’t Cry . . . Women Do: Transcending Stereotypes of Grief.

Outside Resources for Men:

Resources for Men and Grief (national):  www.nationalwidowers.org

Resources for Men and Grief (local):  www.webhealing.com